Posted by: thewoobdog | August 8, 2007

Drowned Rat

I stare in growing dismay through layers of murky, scuzzy water.  I have unscrewed the top of the drain and twisted the body of the drain round and round, but my ministrations have had no discernible effect on the (unacceptably slow) drainage rate.  I twist some more.  I pull.  I try to determine whether the gap between the rubber seal and the drain rim is any larger than it was moments before.  My fingers occasionally slip between the gap and touch slime.  I shudder.

My frustration mounts.  I voice my irritation loudly and direct (G-rated) invectives toward the obstinate object of my displeasure.  TBear, hearing me (how could he not?), implores me to leave it and let him deal with it.  He is folding clothes.

I am not content to wait.  I struggle more.  I hurl more curses at the drain.  AHA!  The plunger!  I grab it, place it atop the drain, and plunge madly.  I lift the plunger expectantly.  It has only served to seal the drain shut.  I pry it up again, now furious.  I am tired of standing in scummy water while I shower.

More firmly now, TBear insists that I leave it.  He will take care of it in a moment.  Tears of frustration prick at my eyes.  I feel powerless.

I go upstairs in a vain attempt to find the instructions for the tub (it is different than other tubs).  I find papers on my faucets, appliances, fireplace, and pedestal sink, but no tub.

TBear calls.  He has opened the drain.  He wants me to see what has been blocking the flow of water.  I go down and hold the flashlight over the hole – there appears to be a large grey rodent obstructing the pipe.  TBear begins pulling it out in strands.  Eww.  My repeated failure to unscrew the drain (it requires a hex wrench, as TBear just discovered) over the past two years has allowed this appalling creature to make its home in my drain.  It is my own hair.

TBear finishes the extraction.  I spray the tub with copious (truly excessive) amounts of Scrubbing Bubbles.  I scrub.  I rinse.  I dry.

Ah!  The sparkle.  The crisis averted.  The fading of angst and the return of equanimity.


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