Posted by: thewoobdog | April 23, 2007


Okay.  I folded.  I swore and swore for years that I would never never never do the Atkins (or as my husband and I like to call it, the ‘Fatkins’) diet, and yes, dear readers, today I folded.  I guess I should have learned the utter folly of ever saying ‘never’ when I resigned myself to being an accountant, after spending my entire childhood, teen years, college years, and most of my 20’s saying I would never (never never) be an accountant.  Yes, God has a sense of humor.  It’s so nice to know that I am amusing to the Creator of the universe.  Mmmhmmm.  What worries me is the memory of the many years of insistence that I would never (never never) have kids…  That one hasn’t come back to bite me in the butt yet, but I must confess I find myself looking apprehensively over my shoulder a lot these days…

Yes.  So now I’m on the all-meat all-fat all-the-time made-for-America diet.  My main objection to Atkins has always been that human beings were not created to eat that way.  Of course, human beings were not created to eat the way I had been eating, either, but we’ll shelve that for now, hmmm?  Anyhoo, it struck me the other day that human beings were not created to live the way we live in this day and age – our day-to-day routines (for most of us, anyway) involve hours and hours of sitting on our nether parts doing nothing more strenuous than typing, with the occasional brief bout of frantic (or not-so-frantic) aerobic (um, or not-so-aerobic) activity squeezed in out of a sense of guilt and obligation.

Compare this to the days of actually working (ie, expending energy) to make a living (as is still the norm in many countries), and you’ll begin to understand the need to adapt our diet to match our lifestyle.  No, I’m not saying that Atkins is the be-all, end-all (it was honestly painful to me to eat eggs and cheese cooked in butter for breakfast – I still shudder at the thought), or that it is the appropriate solution to the widespread obesity epidemic in America (I think as a nation we’re actually affecting the degree of tilt of the Earth’s axis), but we shall see what we shall see, hmm?  Actually, I am doing it out of a sense of desperation at the moment – it cannot be denied that it produces some of the quickest results, if done right, and I have a wedding in five weeks for which I am a bridesmaid.  The dress was tight when I bought it, and I haven’t tried it on since… I have, however, noted the frightening fact that I’ve actually gained weight since that fateful day in the dressing room…  Pray, people.  Must. fit. in. dress.  Gack.  I’ll keep you updated.


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