Posted by: thewoobdog | April 10, 2007


Webster’s defines lonely as:

1 a : being without company : LONE b : cut off from others : SOLITARY
2 : not frequented by human beings : DESOLATE
3 : sad from being alone : LONESOME
4 : producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation

I’ve been thinking a lot about loneliness lately.  I know so many people who are going through very hard times and who feel so alone, and I remember more vividly than I care to the years in my life when I felt the same.  I’ve noticed that to be alone by yourself is different than being alone surrounded by people – it looks like nonsense at first glance, but any human being on earth can empathize.  I think one of the most painful things on earth is loneliness.  To feel that no one ‘knows’ you, and especially that no one wants to know you, truly is the most devastating thing a human being can experience. 

The Father God created us to be not-alone.  Our Father created us because he was alone; because he wanted a family who would love him because they wanted to, because they saw that he was good and they desired him, as passionately and fervently as he desired them.  He wanted a people who would choose him – why else create man with that ultimate gift from a loving father, free will?  The heartache and grief that he has suffered when his children refuse him must be greater than any pain or hurt that I can even imagine, much less absorb, yet how much greater is the joy that suffuses him every time one of his family comes to him with love and devotion, not because they have to, but because they choose him!  Such joy comes from love freely given! 

The Father said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.’  God said that.  So when you feel like something in you is dying because you are so alone, know that God understands on a deeper level than you could ever imagine exactly what you are going through.  And know that he says ‘it is not good.’ 

Some argue (I have argued this with myself, when feeling overwhelmed with despair and while sinking into depths of self-pity which in turn produced guilt as I tried vainly to tell myself how blessed I was and how ungrateful of me it was to feel this way) that we are never alone when we have a relationship with the living God.  This is true.  He has promised us that he would never leave us or forsake us.  However, does God not understand that sometimes that just doesn’t seem like enough?  When did he utter those words about man being alone?   Before the Fall.  God spoke this about Adam, his spiritually alive man, whom he walked with and talked with on the new-created earth.  If it was not good that Adam should be alone, when Adam had a face to face relationship with God that Jesus had to die to restore back to us, and if Adam lived on a perfect and untainted earth at that time, how much more does the Father realize that his children – although given free access to him and restored to full rights of relationship – his children live surrounded by death and sin and taint and darkness and they need companionship. 

 If God knows this – and if he is the God who knows what we need before we ever ask – do you think he has not provided for it?  Rest in that.  Stop feeling guilty because your eyes leak tears onto your pillow at night as the aching loneliness in your chest tightens and demands payment in despair.  Stop feeling guilty that you beg God for a companion when he has already given you himself.  He knows.  He already knows.  He himself has felt the ache of loneliness.  He, too, has felt the pain of rejection.  But he has promised beauty for the ashes of your confidence, strength to replace what fear of being always alone has sapped, gladness for the mourning that has endured so long, and peace to blot away the despair that has lived as a constant shadow in your breast.  He already has a companion – not necessarily speaking always of a spouse, although he has that for you, too – but a heart-friend, a friend who sticks closer than a brother, a human being on this earth who will walk with you as you walk with God, who will sharpen your faith as iron sharpens iron, and who will speak the words of God into your life in those times when you don’t hear his voice.


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