Posted by: thewoobdog | March 15, 2007


You know, sometimes I think that I’d like to be the heroine of a novel.  Or better yet, a series of novels.  I mean, think about it – things that in ordinary people are considered irritating and obnoxious are just kind of ‘quirky’ in a heroine, and are, in fact, often a source of great amusement to those around her.  Tendencies toward seemingly violent moodswings are laughed off (by all but the villains, who nonetheless still often have a reluctant respect for said heroine) with such colorful descriptions as ‘mercurial temperament’, ‘spirited’, ‘high-strung’, etcetera.  Stubbornness is always considered (albeit wryly) as a positive characteristic, as is the heroine’s typical leaning towards opinionated-ness (yes, I know it’s not a word, but if you know what I mean, than does it really matter?).  Infuriating and exasperating characteristics or behaviors are ‘cute’, and, indeed, the words ‘infuriating’ and ‘exasperating’, when used to refer to said heroine, automatically carry a somewhat positive and idiosyncratic connotation.  In reality, if I refer to something as either, I mean it – ‘infuriating’ is not a good thing in my world.  (And, as someone having two sisters, neither is ‘exasperating’).

 And, yes, let’s be honest (I’ll clear something up right now, as well – I am aware that it is inappropriate to begin a sentence with ‘and’, but I’ve always thought it was a stupid rule [except, of course, when people who have NO knowledge of the grammar and structure of the English language do it], so I reserve the right to break said rule at will.  Along with any others that come up that inhibit my chosen forms of expression [this sentence fragment, indeed, breaking one such rule])… where was I?  Oh, yes.  And, let’s be honest, I do realize that heroines of the type referenced in the above paragraph are mostly found in ‘fluff’ fiction – that is, fairly light reading, non-groundbreaking stuff (no, I am not referring to romance novels – I do not read romance novels.  Sheesh.  I mean ‘fluff’ sci-fi/fantasy and mystery, of course, ‘fluff’ being non-nutritious, overly sugary marshmallow crème with little weight or substance.  They have a cookbook for it, incidentally). 

 Heroines of better authors (who’s books I do, almost without fail, typically find much more engaging and definitely worth more re-reads) are rarely this shallow and as such (oddly) much easier to relate to.  (Does this mean I’m not shallow?  I don’t know…)  For the purposes of this blog, however, and my desire to be a fictional heroine, I prefer to dwell on the others.  So there.  Are you irritated with my superficial generalizations?  Exasperated, perhaps?  Well, get over it.  I’m the heroine of this blog and I can have as many unsubstantiated opinions and points-of-view as I want.


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